10 Cloverfield Lane

RV: I’ve never peed my pants out of fright, but during this movie, I was damn close. In full disclosure, I did stubbornly order the “Big B” at the movie theater, so I could have free refills on my pop and popcorn even though I always feel like shit by the end of the movie and never actually finish my first tub of popcorn. But unfortunately for my pride, my poor financial choices at the snack counter were not the only reason my bladder almost exploded during this movie. Mostly, I was scared out of my fucking mind from the opening credits to the film’s final seconds. If you assumed like I did that surely this movie would slow down and build to an exciting finish, you would be wrong because this movie never slows down. It’s like walking through a god damn spook house where your muscles start aching after being jump scared to death for thirty minutes. This movie is much longer than your local Billy Bob’s House of Horrors, and the only time it lets up is for a very brief musical montage about halfway through the film. When the music stops, so will your brief feeling of peace. This movie is the definition of a thriller. I wish I could break down the plot, but I would never do the disservice of revealing such a tantalizing story that is very much hidden in even the trailers of the film. Let me just say this, the movie is great. The acting is superb (especially John Goodman). Go watch this film. You will be thrilled..to death, and you will love every horrifying minute of it.

T: Unlike my partner, I have seen J.J Abram’s Cloverfield. When I watched that movie years ago, I knew I had witnessed something truly unique in the world of horror and suspense. 10 Cloverfield Lane though? It is an anomaly unto itself. Part horror, part suspense, riddled with psychological terror and science-fiction – this film is not for the faint of heart. I was troubled to not even know that this movie existed, but when I did, I made it a priority to see it almost immediately. If you are expecting a kind of sequel, you will be somewhat disappointed. But with that said, the film itself is an intense thrill ride. It’s opening sequence, riddled with subtle foreshadowing, opens up to a film that never lets up. The palpable tension fills you will all the appropriate thrills – you feel confined, anxious, unnerved, the desire to hold your breath for fear of making a sound, which you inevitably will fail to do as you scream into your popcorn (or was that just me?). John Goodman, who I LOVE, will fill you with such confusion (is he mentally disturbed? a schizo conspiracy-theorist? Santa Claus?) Either way he’ll make you rethink all those nights of binging Roseanne. Side note: A-freaking-plus to those who were like, “You know what? Let’s let the ladies kick ass for a while! Why not write a horror story in which we show how woman can be tough and innovative and wily and smart?” #letshearitfortheladies #aboutfreakingtime

5 Red Vines – Nightmare on Elm Street looks like Sesame Street compared to this address.

5 Twizzlers – Finally! RV and I agree on something – this movie kicks total ass.

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